the "L" ache

i feel an ache growing inside me, it's deepening me into a black hole, pushing me lower and lower to unexistance. at the same time i see no actions that i could possibly take to ease my frustations, everything thing feels like a forced action of happiness, well you can only force it upon yourself for so long before what you're truly feelings seeps out of you like an overflowing volcano. so yes, i am lost, yes i once again find myself wanting something i cant have and no i see no fucking way to release and relieve any of this.