Blank-minded fears.

In my moments of a blank mind I fear that I am falling into a being lacking thought.. In the experiences I have had here in the city, I have had both feelings of great learning, and fears of being ignorant to the knowledge presented in front of me.I wish to be an insightful person, a person of experience and knowledge. What haunts me is the idea that I am not those things, that will continue an existence of mediocrity. I don't want that. It's not that I need recognition or honor,I just need to feel within myself that I am a worthy being. Currently, I battle to find that feeling.